Fred Nile Leaps to bin Laden’s Defence

Sydney: NSW Upper House member and famously puritanical campaigner Fred Nile has leapt to the defence of Osama bin Laden following revelations US forces found a substantial amount of pornography on the al-Qaeda leader’s computer equipment. In a surprising statement, Nile defended the viewing habits of the Islamic extremist’s, shot dead by US Forces two weeks ago

‘Well, I know how he feels,’ said Nile in a statement issued by his office. ‘I, too, have been caught accessing various gonzo sites from my Parliamentary office.’
Nile was caught up in an audit of web access by Parliament’s IT and explained the staggering amount of pornography website visits as ‘research.’
‘When you’re a bit of a zealot, it’s hard to get away with the occasional lapse in your morals. Let’s face it, we all have them but the last thing you want is for people to regard you as human. So we call it research.’
He continued, ‘As we know, bin Laden was something of a fanatic and he had to keep his finger on the pulse of what’s going in the West and continue gathering evidence – as I do – on why we’re doomed. It was just research. Really. The websites Hot Bot Shots, In The Pink and Saving Ryan’s Privates are firmly on my list, so I hope he got as much out of it as I did.’
When pressed about other material uncovered such as videos of the fugitive terrorist leader enjoying an episode of Big Bang Theory, Nile immediately shot back, ‘That kind of filth is just beyond the pale.’

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